"So in 2003 God (Gale) sent two angels of the lord to visit Stephenie Meyer in a dream. The first angel (Askars) said unto S.Meyer, "You will write the greatest literary work since Moby Dick." And then Smeyer was like, "lol 'dick'" and then she fucked up and wrote 'Twilight.' Oopsie dazzle. So they came back 4 years later to discuss the movie and Stephenie was all, "I know just the person to play Edward. His name is Henry Cavill and I manage his fansite and keep his picture under my bed." But then the second angel (Jensen) said unto her, "Silence. For his name shall be RPattz and he will be the savior of teen emo vampire cinema and novelty dildos." And God saw that it was good. Well not "good" but you know. And so the Twilight franchise came to be. But they were still unsatisfied. So then Jensen was like, "There should be a place where women of all different ages and backgrounds can come together and crack each other up and hit on one another as the Lord God intended!" And Stephenie said, "Can they not just gather at Hot Topic conventions?" Everyone ignored her. Askars said: "But who would create it?" And Jensen knew it was to be Emily because she's amazing and super hot. I don't know if he visited her in a dream. Probs but you would have to ask her. And then Jensen struck down Pat Robertson, though he still roams the earth. That's right PAT ROBERTSON IS A DEMON!!!
At least that's what it says in my Bible idk." -Boobie
chasingmeaway on February 23rd, 2009: WE DID IT IN A POOL AND A TENT AND A BAKERY. NGL, THERE WERE PASTRIES INVOLVED.
waverly_ on February 24th, 2009: OMG PASTRIES BRB DYING FROM THE ROFL
chasingmeaway on February 24th, 2009: LOL STFU. HE LIKED THEM.
waverly_ on February 24th, 2009: BB.
TELL ME ABOUT THE PASTRIES.
chasingmeaway on February 24th, 2009: THERE IS NOTHING TO TELL, OK?
SRSLY. HE JUST ATE A LOT OF THEM THE ENTIRE TIME. EXCEPT WHEN WE WERE IN THE TENT BECAUSE OF THE ~CRUMBS.
waverly_ on February 24th, 2009: HE ATE PASTRIES IN THE POOL AND IN THE BAKERY WHILST SIMULTANEOUSLY DAZZLE DOING YOU? I KNEW YOU WERE A MULTI-TASKER, RPATTZ. I CAN ONLY IMAGINE WHAT HE DID WITH THE DONUTS, BB. SPLIT THEM IN FUCKING HALF. IF YOU GET WHAT I MEAN.
(because he has a large penis.)
chasingmeaway on February 24th, 2009: LOOK, HE NEEDED THE SUGAR, OK? LOLOLOL FUCK. THE BRACKETS JUST MADE ME CHOKE.
waverly_ on February 24th, 2009: I KNOW WHAT ELSE YOU CHOKED ON BB. OMG, I NEED TO STOP.
I TYPED COCKED INSTEAD OF CHOKED.
waverly_ on February 24th, 2009: Can you even believe I have never had an RPattz dream? My brain is such a failure. And it doesn't make sense, considering how much time I spend being dazzled. In other news, every time I type RPattz my Mac tells me it's a typo. I AM FUCKING OFFENDED.
verminorvenison on February 24th, 2009: Aww, there's so much pent up dazzle in this community I'm sure you'll have one soon! And my mac does the same thing! IT'S UNCONDITIONALLY AND IRREVOCABLY OFFENSIVE.
waverly_ on February 24th, 2009: I FEEL AS THOUGH MY MAC IS COMMITTING RACIAL SLURS BY DOING THIS. I AM NOT ONLY OFFENDED BUT EMBARRASSED AT THIS TIME. Maybe I will have a dream so epic from my pent up dazzle that I will not wake up. ngl, I don't mind.
chasingmeaway on February 24th, 2009: I AM ALSO FUCKING OFFENDED. Maybe it's in cahoots with your subconscious. Clearly neither feel the dazzle.
waverly_ on February 24th, 2009: I WILL FUCKING CUT THEM BOTH.
chasingmeaway on February 24th, 2009: THAT COULD BE ENTERTAINING TO WATCH.
waverly_ on February 24th, 2009: I CAN WILL MY SUBCONSCIOUS INTO CORPOREAL FORM JUST TO MURDER IT TO DEATH. I WILL SPARE MY MAC BECAUSE I NEED IT TO DAZZLE HERE. BUT IT WILL GET A FIRM TALKING TO AND AN ANGRY LETTER.
chasingmeaway on February 24th, 2009: OMG NOT A LETTER. DON'T BE SO MEAN. I'm not too worried about the murder of your subconscious tbh though because you don't need one of those to be here. I am however impressed at the technical steps involved.
waverly_ on February 24th, 2009: I'M SORRY BB I HAVE TO WRITE A LETTER. IT IS SRS BSNS. TBH I JUST STARE AT THE COMPUTER AND COMMENTS ARE POSTED. I DON'T EVEN TYPE NO MORE BB.
chasingmeaway on February 24th, 2009: I DON'T KNOW HOW ALL MY COMMENTS END UP IN CAPS. I SWEAR I TURN IT OFF AND THEN HIT POST AND I'M LIKE HEEEEEEEEEEEEY THERE. I'M SHOUTING AGAIN.
waverly_ on February 24th, 2009: FOR ME IT IS A MIXTURE OF SHOUTING AND EVERY LETTER HAVING AN ERECTION JUST BECAUSE THE SUBJECT MATTER IS RPATTZ. I COMMISERATE WITH YOU, ALPHABET.
chasingmeaway on February 24th, 2009: LOL I HAD FORGOTTEN THAT LETTERS COULD HAVE ERECTIONS BUT THANK GOD YOU HAVE REMINDED ME. I WISH I COULD HAVE ONE TBH.
waverly_ on February 24th, 2009: AN ERECTION WOULD BE A BETTER WAY TO EXPRESS MY DAZZLE ALSO. I WILL JUST HAVE TO SETTLE WITH ALPHABET ERECTUS FOR NOW.
BB I WANT TO PRINT OUT OUR CONVERSATION AND HAVE IT FRAMED.
chasingmeaway on February 24th, 2009: I APPRECIATE YOU PROVIDING ME WITH THE LATIN TERM. IKR. IT IS LIKE ~ART. LIKE PICASSO AND SHIT. I'M SO GLAD I FOUND YOU.
waverly_ on February 24th, 2009: I AM NOT ONLY HERE TO DAZZLE, BUT ALSO TO EDUCATE ON THE SUBJECT OF DAZZLE. I HAVE A PHD IN DAZZLETHICS, DAZZLECONOMICS, DAZZLEOLOGY AND ADVANCED DAZZLE. I ALSO KNOW ALL THE SUBJECTS IN LATIN BECAUSE I AM FLUENT IN LATIN. I AM BETTER THAN DR PEPPER AND HIS PEPPEROLOGY PHD.
I FEEL LIKE EVERYONE SHOULD BE FORED TO READ THIS EXCHANGE BECAUSE IT IS THE BEST THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED TO ME. YOU ARE MY LIFE NOW.
chasingmeaway on February 24th, 2009: THANK GOD I HAVE MET YOU SO THAT YOU CAN TRAIN ME IN THE FULL WORKS OF DAZZLE. I WANT TO START WITH DAZZLETHICS TBH. BUT ONLY IF YOU THINK THAT'S BEST,OBV. IT'S HARD TO BELIEVE ANYTHING IS BETTER THAN DR PEPPER AND HIS PEPPEROLOGY PHD BUT I HAVE TO BELIEVE EVERYTHING YOU SAY. HONESTLY I THINK IT SHOULD BE A NEW RULE. FORGET THE MACROS. FOREING PEOPLE TO READ THIS INFORMED AND INTELLIGENT DISCUSSION AND THEN GAUGING THEIR RESPONSE IS A PERFECT HAZING METHOD.
NGL BEFORE YOU MY LIFE WAS LIKE A MOONLESS NIGHT. THANK YOU FOR BEING MY METEOR.
afireinside27 on February 24th, 2009: WHY WAS I NOT INCLUDED IN THIS CONVERSATION :
waverly_ on February 24th, 2009: YOU ARE HERE NOW BB AND THIS IS ALL THAT MATTERS. USER INFO Y/Y?
afireinside27 on February 24th, 2009: UM YES MOST DEFINITELY IT WILL BE A GOOD EXAMPLE OF HOW WE DAZZLE
chasingmeaway on February 24th, 2009: IDK TBH. WHERE HAVE U BEEN?
afireinside27 on February 24th, 2009: SPAMMING ELSEWHERE AND NOW I FEEL LIKE A FOOL LIKE A FOOL
chasingmeaway on February 24th, 2009: AND RIGHTLY SO. BUT IT'S OK BECAUSE YOU ARE HERE NOW.
afireinside27 on February 24th, 2009: LOL THIS PAGE IS SO RIDICULOUS WHEN YOU EXPAND IT IDK HOW TO EXPLAIN IT BUT OMG I LOVE THIS COMM SO MUCH chasingmeaway on February 24th, 2009: LOL IKR. I DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO EXPLAIN IT EITHER SO I JUST LOL'ED TO MYSELF. I'M ACTUALLY PLANNING ON MARRYING IT.
afireinside27 on February 24th, 2009: SRY BB I JUST GOT ENGAGED TO IT BUT I GUESS WE CAN HAVE A POLYGAMOUS RELATIONSHIP
chasingmeaway on February 24th, 2009: OK SINCE IT'S YOU I DON'T MIND SHARING. BUT EVERYONE ELSE NEEDS TO BACK THE FUCK OFF.
afireinside27 on February 24th, 2009: WELL I GUESS WAVERLY CAN JOIN IN 2 BUT YEA NO ONE ELSE
waverly_ on February 24th, 2009: BB DAZZLETHICS IS A GREAT PLACE TO START. YOU WILL BE MY DAZZLE PROTEGE.
WE DO NOT EVEN REQUIRE MACROS ANYMORE. WE HAVE SURPASSED MACRO LEVEL. AND BB I DON'T KNOW IF YOU SUBTLY INSERTED 'FOREING' TO MOCK MY TYPO BUT I AM THOROUGHLY IMPRESSED BY YOUR VERY OWN DAZZLE. CLEARLY YOU HAVE RAW DAZZLE AND ARE THE CORRECT CHOICE FOR THE UNIVERSITY OF COLLEGE DAZZLE. TBH YOU ARE MY MIDNIGHT SUN.
SRS BSNS I AM THINKING OF COPYING THIS INTO THE USER INFO SO WE CAN EDUCATE THE MASSES ON WHAT IT FUCKING MEANS TO BE IN SPAMMERPATTZ.
verminorvenison on February 24th, 2009: I AM SO GLAD THAT THERE IS AN ACCREDITED PROGRAM OF DAZZLE NOW. I HOPE THAT MY DAZZLE POINT AVERAGE IS HIGH ENOUGH TO GRANT ME ENTRY INTO THIS PRESTIGIOUS COURSE.
waverly_ on February 24th, 2009: BB IT'S SO DAZZLE IT ACCREDITED ITSELF. IT IS A VERY RIGOROUS PROGRAM BUT I HAVE FAITH THAT YOU WILL PASS THE DAZZLE ENTRY TEST. OMFG DAZZLE ENTRY SOUNDS DIRTY TO ME. DAZZLE PENETRATION. THERE IS A COURSE ON THIS ALSO.
chasingmeaway on February 24th, 2009: THIS WILL FEATURE IN YOUR DREAM BTW.
verminorvenison on February 24th, 2009: I JUST DAZZLED ALL OVER MYSELF THINKING ABOUT MY FUTURE CAREER IN BEDAZZLERY. YOU WILL NOT REGRET THIS, SIR. I WILL MAKE YOU PROUD. AND OMG I CAN'T WAIT TO DREAM TONIGHT. I MIGHT JUST GO TO BED RIGHT NOW, EXCEPT HELL NO I CAN'T DO THAT. I MUST CONTINUE WITH MY DAZZLE-CATION.
chasingmeaway on February 24th, 2009: I'M SO EXCITED. I'M NOT EVEN JOKING. SRSLY. WHAT ARE MACROS? I DON'T EVEN REMEMBER WHAT THEY ARE. I NEVER DAZZLE ACCIDENTALLY BB JSYK. I THINK I'VE IMPRINTED ON YOU. NO JOKE. I'M GLAD YOU'RE NOT A BABY BB. I WOULD SRSLY BE HONOURED FOR THE WORLD TO BE ABLE TO READ OUR DAZZLING CONVERSATION.
waverly_ on February 24th, 2009: OH SHIT I HAVE TO BREAK CHARACTER JUST TO ACKNOWLEDGE THE LOL FOR EVERYTHING YOU JUST SAID OMG BABY BB.
OH HAI I JUST GOT IMPRINTED ON.
chasingmeaway on February 24th, 2009: HAHAHA. SRSLY BEST CONVO I'VE EVER HAD IN MY LIFE.
waverly_ on February 24th, 2009: WE DON'T EVEN NEED A REASON TO DAZZLE ANYMORE. IT JUST HAPPENS FOR NO REASON.
DISCLAIMER: HERE'S THE DEALIE. WE ARE THE NON-CREEPY VERSION OF ROBERT PATTINSON FANS. WE MOCK HIM AND LOVE HIM SIMULTANEOUSLY. WE EVEN FEEL SORRY FOR HIM BECAUSE HE'S SO IHATEMYLIFE.COM SOMETIMES. WE MOSTLY HIT ON EACH OTHER RATHER THAN TALK ABOUT ROBERT PATTINSON. SORRY. WE ARE FILTHY. YOU GONNA GET HIT ON. IN CAPS. WE GENERALLY HAVE NO REAL NEWS AND ANYTHING WE POST THAT MAY SEEM VALID IS STOLEN FROM SOMEWHERE ELSE. WE DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT WE ARE DOING, BUT WE'RE GOOD AT MAKING TAGS. OUR INSIDE JOKES ARE WORTH YOUR TIME. PLEASE DON'T LURK. INTRODUCE YOURSELF, WE DON'T BITE. OK MAYBE WE DO, BUT YOU'LL LIKE IT.
~SEPTEMBER OCTOBER NOVEMBER DECEMBER JANUARY~ IN OTHER NEWS, JENSEN ACKLES/ALEXANDER SKARSGARD/GALE HAROLD = GOD. WHO IS ROBERT PATTINSON IDK IDK. IF YOU DON'T LIKE VIEWING PARTIES AND POSTS THAT ARE RIDDLED WITH GIFS THAT HAVE LITERALLY NOTHING TO DO WITH THE ORIGINAL TOPIC, THEN GTFO PLS. IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO GIVE UP YOUR LIFE (WHICH PROBABLY WASN'T THAT GREAT ANYWAY IF YOU DON'T KNOW THE AFOREMENTIONED MEN) AND JOIN US, THEN COME IN AND GET SOME. BUT YOU STILL GONNA GET HIT ON. IN CAPS.